Week 7

Today, I cried for the first time in a month. Taylor has been fussy as of late and there hasn't been much I can do to appease her.

This morning, Ji left, and I was with Taylor all by myself--again. She was crying, I was tired, and I felt helpless. I just cried and asked her why she couldn't go to sleep.

Then magically, she gave me a break. She's been sleeping without me having to hold her. More recently, shes been waking up every time we put her down and couldn't sleep unless she was being held or in the ergo. Today, none of that happened. Maybe she heard my cries for help.

But in all seriousness, I'm learning how I need to (wo)man up and get stronger mentally. This is what motherhood is--it's tough. Everyone who's a mother goes through it. Now I just need to suck it up.

Also, this really encouraged me and reminded me of my purpose as a mother:

"Parental amnesia is not just when you walk into a room and forget why you're carrying the laundry basket with four dirty coffee mugs in it. That's called normal. Parental amnesia is when we forget about two things: tomorrow and eternity."

"As mothers, we can so easily become fixated on the immaturity of these little image bearers, who show people their boogers, that we neglect to treasure them as reflections of God's glory. In our noble efforts to practically raise our children to grow up to be adults, we often miss something. We miss the rising sun that signals another day of grace in which God has entrusted us with nurturing his little image bearers to love and honor him first and foremost and forever."

"When the mundane looms larger than eternal life, we forget who God is, who we are, and who our children are."

(Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full by Gloria Furman)

I am entrusted with nurturing Taylor, His little image bearer, to love and honor God first and foremost.

I must love and honor God first and foremost and be a good example.

It's not about my needs, wants, desires. Hello, motherhood.