Dad

Dad: I wonder who is going to marry you.
Me: Someone LUCKY.
Dad: It's not that you don't want to get married. The fact is you can't get married.

Me: Do you ever regret getting married?
Dad: No. No one regrets getting married.
Me: Dad, a lot of people regret getting married.
Dad: Why would I say I regret getting married? Do you want me to get beaten up by your mother?